Lately ... (Part 3)

Nothing to do for today, so I've decided to go walk around Midvalley. Today, I managed to only get to stage 2 boss in time crisis 3 and died there ... using only 4 credits. I guess no more arcade games for me since it's an endless game unless the arcade center sponsor me (LOL). Then after that, I've decided to take a rest as my hand got so numb from the arcade game (ARCADE GAME IS HAZARDOUS TO HEALTH) and take a long walk to The Gardens at the new wing. I must say, when I entered the garden, the place was literally like a 5 star shopping complex and looks very classy but while returning back to the old wing, it's looks very dull and old.
I must say that, there are a lot of classy stores inside the gardens and it has 4 floors from the ground floor and needs extra walking which is probably good for women who loves to walk and shop for hours without getting bored. However, the gardens is not limited only to 4 floors as they are currently still developing the 5th floor and the lower ground floor is quite dull with just food stores and a supermarket. After walking for so long in the gardens which I felt like forever. I walked back to Midvalley to have a lunch at the Oasis and went to MPH to read some books awhile and went back home. It was drizzling when I went to Midvalley and came back out from Midvalley.

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I've just finished watching Hell's Kitchen Season 3 after the long weekend of waiting for it to be completely downloaded. There is a lot of twist this season and I must say, I am a person that love food (who doesn't?) but I am lazy to cook for the food but yet I am so hooked to wanting to learn how to cook my own dishes and impress people after watching 3 seasons of hell's kitchen and Gordon Ramsey is 1 bloody crazy boss out there but I guess I like him :P (Not gay ok!).

At first, I thought of looking for a job at The Gardens but then, looking at it so empty made me don't feel like working there. I guess not many people visits the gardens yet because not all the stores are open for business. Still debating in my mind if I should get a job in the gardens.. hmm

Lately ... (Part 2)

Well, the day started with me checking out whether my Hell's Kitchen Season 3 has already finished downloading or not .. I am so anxious to watch it !! Then, I went to check out facebook ... see if my warbook character got bombed badly by people or not =.=;;

After that... I'd figured that I should go watch 30 days of night at Midvalley alone. The movie was great actually ... although it wasn't really into my taste.. because I was so tension during the 2 hours because of the scary scenes. Well probably that proves that I am not so sadistic of person anymore because before this .. I would laugh at death scenes =.=;;.

After that, I went to Oasis and ate stingray and play in the arcade center for awhile ... gosh Time Crisis 3 is addicting but I should limit myself because I got no money T_T. Only managed to get until stage 2 scene 1 with 2 credits.

After that, I went to check out the Nseries roadshow in the center court. Now I am really hooked into the N82. If only I got like RM3,000 lol ... nah I'd figure that I'll only need it once my current phone is busted.

Then after that, I actually planned to go to the gardens to check it out ... but I was lazy so maybe another time la .. went back to home and go eat dinner. After that, I went to the night market to buy some coconut juice de ... but the store is closed ! omg ... then nvm lo ... treat as an exercise lol, walked for 3 Km :). That's for today ~_~

Lately...

Well, I had my grading test for taekwondo last Sunday, hopefully I will get my Green belt next Sunday :)

Then uhm, nothing much lo, just play arcade game ... I figured there is too little time for part time job !

Anyways, just went to my INTIMA Executive Committee President's gathering, there were around 20 - 25 people in the gathering, it was at my president's new house in Shah Alam. To tell you the truth.. I've never been into Shah Alam before and there is a story behind this hehe.. but it'll be the closing part :). Anyways, the gathering was more to a pot luck, my mom wasn't at home so she can't cook and I am not a cooker myself ... so I had to "tarpau". Felt embarrassing because everyone cooked their own food ! Oh well .. at least I brought "food". Anyways, after dinner, we played a game of truth or dare ... basically this version we played was write down the punishment into a piece of paper and it will be gathered into a "tudung" for food and then each person will draw a card from a deck of card and basically Ace is the lowest while King is the highest. I kena twice !! well actually once .. because the other 1 was like ... erm =.= dunno how to describe.. it was like being "woo-ed" to perform it with someone.
The first punishment was to kiss everyone's cheek including the guys in the gathering... omg =.= I felt like dying because I had never KISS a person's cheek before ... (maybe my mom when i was small so i can't remember =.=). Then .. for the second punishment, I had to put tomato sauce on both of my cheek .. and dance "cha cha" =.=;; ok ok... I feel so silly lol... and they say tomato sauce helps to keep skin smoother...
Then I went back around 10.20 and reached home around 11.05. Now why is so long ? well basically I got LOST in Shah Alam just because of the stupid signboard that wrote "Subang" but I couldn't see the aeroplane beside it and went to Subang Airport instead ... took me 2 tolls to get back to federal highway. Gosh .. went extra 10 km and 2 tolls ... arg ... and I've never used Kesas highway or LDP before... talk about how ULU I am ...

I think I need to start driving more so I can get to know more places !

That's all for today ~_~

Apologies

Sorry for the lack of update, I don't know why I suddenly can't access into my blogspot account after a long while of not updating it.

Well I'll update you on what happened lately, I went to my 32nd INTIMA Council Camp 2007 on the 4th - 6th November. I would say, it's a mixture of happiness and sadness on what happened during the camp. During the camp, we did Sea Rafting, Group Activities, Obstacle Course, Compass Marching and Night Walk.
I'll start with the good part, I get to know more about the people in my college. Apart from that, I've learned some valuable lesson in teamwork.
Now the bad part, I've learned that, people around me calculate a lot on how many good deeds you've done before they will think of helping you.

I'll elaborate it slowly from day 1 to day 3 :)

Day 1
I arrive at Eagle Ranch, Port Dickson at 10.30 am, the dorm was not ready until 5.00 pm (Bad Service). So we did some team building stuff like making a flag and creating a motto and a cheering dance. After that, we had our sea rafting and it was really tiring because I was flapping my paddle like a nut cracker. I've even jumped into the sea to get my flag.. barely can swim because i don't wanna drop my spectacles ! The flag kept floating away as we kept paddling nearer to it =.=. After the sea rafting, our dorms were ready and we moved our luggage into the dorm. This is the bad part, I've asked for help because I have some back problem and can't carry heavy things and you know what, earlier ago, my friend that asked me to help him picked up some of his luggage while he did saw me filled with my heavy backpack + a luggage and another plastic bag at another hand. Already no one helped me, and I replied, I'll see first because I need to put my stuff in the Hall Room first. When I came back out, he was no where and my friend had already helped him. So continuing from moving my luggage from the Hall to the Dorm which is like 2 KM far, I tried to call out for help, the friend of mine that heard my request didn't even bothered because I didn't help him earlier ago. How selfish and calculative can he be. So nvm, I don't want to strain my back and picked up my things 1 by 1, I had to make 2 rounds while my friend laughs behind my back. What a "friend". There was no hot water during at night to make my maggie mee T_T. I'm so hungry you know ... my stomach kept grumbling like a mad man but luckily I had some apple to bite on ^_^.

Day 2
I had my breakfast, today, we had a team building session again, we had to build a tall tower using just newspaper, my team did very well but we only managed to get 2nd :P. Then, it was time for lunch and gosh I must say, 3/4 of the food served during lunch and dinner are spicy food and I am not a big fan of spicy food. After lunch, we were suppose to have a group performance and my team decided on a drama. However, the performance was moved forward to night time while replacing it with obstacle course. During the obstacle course activity, my first aid officer forgot to get his first aid kit and the organizing chairperson asked me to get it from the "hall" but I thought I heard as in the guy's dorm so she gave me a bunch of keys. Well little did I know, the keys didn't work and I thought she gave me the wrong keys and I quickly ran 2 KMs away from the dorm back to the obstacle course area so make that back and forth = 4KM. She scolded me "Little things you can't even do" without even listening to my explanation. Well that's great, she made it as if I ruined her whole activity in case of someone getting injured during the obstacle course.
Anyways, during the obstacle course, our team which was the 1st group got 3rd place of the 3 groups. Mainly because our team has different sizes of members while the other teams were fit for obstacle course but anyways, it's all about team in the end. After that, I went to bath and had dinner. Soon after, it was compass marching time, whereby we move inside the forest based on the compass and the given bearing. 1 of our group member clumsily lost the compass on the way which was quite impossible because it had a string to be attached on his neck. I was told that it cost RM90+ and the whole team decided to share the burden to pay for it. Yet again, my team took 2x the amount of time compared to the other 2 teams to get through the forest. Probably we were just beginners but anyways we managed to reach our destination safe and sound. After that, it was lights off, but not many people wanted to sleep and the whole group of 20 - 25 people decided to play volleyball late at night lol. We played until 2.30 am and I decided to go back to my dorm and have my shower and sat down to look at the sky which had like 100+ over stars. I think I managed to catch a glimpse on a shooting star ^_^. That's for day 2.

Day 3
Basically, 1 of the organizer decided to cancel the morning exercise. I had my breakfast at 8 am, gosh I wish that I can sleep longer .. I slept like 3 am :S. Then, we had our outdoor game which consist of water balloon war and blindfold marching. After that, we had our tea break and had our photo session and prize giving and soon after, we had our lunch ^_^. We had 1 hour to pack up but some decided to spend time to play on go-kart, cycling and play UNO ^_^. We departed back to KL at 3.00 pm and reached my college at 5.30 pm.

Overall Injuries:
7 mosquito bites
Blue and black right hand from volleyball
1 Human Bite (A girl bit me in my bite, She must have been hungry @_@)
Muscle pain

That's all ^_^ Right now I'm having my 1 month and 3 weeks holiday, still figuring what to do with it, maybe I'll go work as a part timer ... still looking around ~

Existance

Ever reach to a point where it doesn't matter what you do, it seems you've never existed. Typically, I believe in this, I am feeling not anywhere near existing for what I'm doing, not feeling present to anyone's life. I'm just out of the history book. Now why is that happening ? The popular answer will be given, I deserve this because bla bla bla ya da ya da I don't want to listen those craps. Why did I even bother to post this up ? feels so annoying, no one would even read, oh I'll just treat it as a reference to myself. Yayyy YOINK!

Mixture

Went to Putrajaya Firework Finale last Sunday, it was an awesome night, wish it lasted all time in my mind, explosion is such an art that last less than few second. Bad thing about the firework is that the music was too loud and all the inconsiderate people were standing rather than sitting to enjoy the firework and they are not merely just standing on the ground but on chairs ! that makes things worse for short people, so anyways since everyone wants to be inconsiderate, I'll join in the crowd and guess what ? I was literally taller than all of those shorties. Muahahaha.

Hmm new semester is sooooo busy ... X_X and it's just the 3rd day after the college re-opened. Need to work harder, seems like I am learning a lot at the same time. But somehow, I am still day dreaming inside my mind that I need to start snapping out of it.

Hush ! It's been getting so awkward lately, friends keeping things to themselves (well if they want to, it's fine with me but lying about it ?) and figure that friends don't trust each other ? hmm, I guess I am not that trust worthy anymore to companions. But it's ok, I've expected it to happen long before this, not feeling hurt.

Orientation Day

Freshies for my September Intake ! :)

The day started with me being late because I had to do something else in the morning before heading to college.

Reached there and decided to enroll since my introduction was a little later approximately 30 minutes later. I went to enroll and met the head of the student affair office department and she told me off that I should be up there with everyone else. Well according to me, there are more than enough people that can help out in the room while some can even go chit-chatting and play around. So I decided not to waste time since it's only half day on Saturday. You know what this sissy head department did, she just told me off and before I could state my reason ( I got my permission from my president before going there to enroll and he approved ), She just walk off, what a bitch ! I am trying to use my time wisely and take full use of it instead of wasting it and she puts me as if I am wrong to spend my time wisely. Talk about no respect, she won't get a respect from me.

So after that, we had our campus tour as usual, all the freshies looks so blur :P. After that, we had a game that looks like BINGO but then participants must get names to answer questions in the piece of paper instead of ticking numbers :D.
The day ended all well with not a major or minor disaster. Because of that bitch, I couldn't get my timetable and get my card updated. Thank you very much.

I am very thankful that I passed all my subjects because I did so badly, I'll promise myself this semester I will work extra harder ! I only took 2 subjects this semester, so I guess I wouldn't be so cramped up with exercises and I don't want to take my level 2 subjects yet ... gosh I am so anxious now ... because starting next semester I will have to start taking my level 2 which will determine my degree's class ! God bless me with intelligence through the next few years ... =)

After the orientation day, me and few of my fellow friends went to had lunch (Bak Kut Teh). All in all, the day ended all well. Reached home and sleep then woke up to type this out hehe .... :)

Hmmm didn't know what to blog lately, not much happening actually which doesn't even make it into my blog entry but I'll just write it out since I haven't updated the blog for awhile.

There's meeting only with my college mates, other than that, nothing much. Hmmm seems everyone is so busy while I am so free with my time. I'm playing Granado Espada now while watching animes and waiting for the holidays to end. The prepare for orientation day for my college... hmmm.

O ya, today I saw 4 cars played bumper car :P, the middle car (wira) literally became a kancil after that accident ... gosh =.= it created a massive jam, another 1 would be a car accident in the federal highway =.= the motorcyclist was lying on the middle of the highway and not one helped him to get to the patch of grass. You know it's so dangerous that cars might not be able to see and just squash that poor guy. Accidents are happening so often so remember to drive safe !

Now I'm worried about my exam =.= this is the worse exam I've ever had, haven't been doing the whole semester well, God I hope I can gather enough strength to go on.

No one wants to live alone, but I think I'm getting more ignored and secluded. It must the boring-syndrome that is brought along with me whenever I try to communicate. Can't do much since I am an intrinsic person. I'll just live on with those that happens to be with me till the end.

17th Friday
After the exam, I just rested and just had a small breakfast before heading back and slept the whole morning and afternoon because I hadn't sleep in the past 32 hours. After that I headed to Genting around afternoon and arrive Genting at 6.30 pm. I quickly put my luggage into my hotel room and head towards dinner (Bak Kut Teh) with my family. After that, I just enjoyed the night scenery and enjoy chocolate and an ice lemon tea while play Big 2 in my phone before dozing off.

18th Saturday
I had a light breakfast at KFC before heading back to the hotel to pack up and ready to check out and leave Genting. I hanged out in Mushroom Farm and the Genting Temple before heading to Goh Tong Jaya to eat before departing from my aunts, uncle and grandma.

19th Sunday
Went to KL to look for a CD game and failed to find it ... then I went to celebrate my little cousin sister's birthday at my aunt's house.

20th Monday
Cutted my hair and watched Rush Hour 3 and ponder with my mind after that ...

Bad event
This lady in Portoguese Grilled Fish gave me a 1/2 cooked fish ! :@ and made me late 10 mins into my movie

21st Tuesday
Rest at home watching anime and fixed my car =)

22nd Wednesday
Watched Evan the Almighty and learned something ... :) then uh ... ponder at something serious ... gosh .. don't want to elaborate on it .. it's an impact in my life .. msg me if u wanna know =)

Bad event
This Malay lady thinks she got lucky and cut my line while I was lining up in carrefour counter and thinks I didn't notice her existance and keep looking at me while I gave my scary face at her and make her feel guilty for the whole day. I would have punished her severely by asking her to line up again but nah I don't want to cause a stir ^_^.

I'm so dead

I just want to cry now over my exam, it's the first time I did so badly, if only someone out there would hear my cries :(

Exam

My english paper just went over on Tuesday, it's the first time I had to think so hard to answer business english and my lecturer is a crack head because whatever I do, she'll give me 1/2 of everything !! *angry*.

I'll be having economic and statistic tomorrow and accounting and finance on friday .. then i'll be free !!! freedom ... because I have longed for it !! argh numbers are filling my mind and I started to dream that 1 + 1 = 1 =.=...

Ok... back to numbers =.= so many things to cramp into my mind ... hope i'll make it to the end ...

Reality Check

Time I stop fantasizing everyday how my world will be shaped according to it. Instead, I think my world should flow with it. People around me are different and are constantly improving themselves while I'm still in my old self, I must move on and put myself in a better position. "Achievement" is the word =).

What I want most right now ?

- Improving my english
- Using my knowledge that I've learnt so far to good use ( Work ? )

I don't see anymore point of just sitting around and pondering oh will she love me or not, how childish will that be if I thought of it. I must start building my career from somewhere =). How thoughtful of myself :D

Hope by then I found something I'll love to do at my spare time. Hmm time to job hunt during this break of mine =)

What I did for today...

Well, I just watched Claymore for the whole day ... and played a little C&C3 Tiberium War ...

Claymore was great ... I liked the story line ... but I think it built up too fast ... don't you think so ? The main character got developed so fast from a quiet 1 to a supernatural 1.. in less than 20 episodes ... not that quite similar with death note where they elaborate a ton of details .. but I guess the story writer don't want to kill the anime with boredom such as fillers and such which is a good thing but neglecting some part of the story is still bad ...

I found that animes draw my attention a lot from the real world ... makes my mind start to imagine lovable things =). If only life is like a cartoon ay ? =).

Argh, thank god I didn't buy C&C3 though .. it's boring =.= i mean the cinematic scenes are boring ... and the game play is the same ... :( it's a disappointment to me ... I hope starcraft 2 would be a different when it releases .. I had a bad time playing the game C&C with my old PC that is 5 yrs old ... but it's still functional =) but it won't last the latest generation of games ... I'd guess I'll only get a new one in the next few years ... no $$$ X_X...

Now I'm looking for Code geass and Darker than black anime fansub sites ... someone please give me the link up !! thanks a lot :P I want to fill my time with animes =)

Apart from all these stuff I've just talked about, I'll start on something more romantic =) which is of course, [ L O V E ] itself, I've learned that, girls that are not interested in a guy, would not care much about him other than just being a friend, examples would be if a guy is having some bad times, a girl friend would just be there and hear him but would not be able to comfort him. I've learned that through a lot of observation. I've become more knowledgeable when it comes to knowing if a girl really likes me instead of myself clapping 1 sided.

Randomness

Plans after my final exam

- Rush Hour 3 Movie
- Eat
- Sleep
- Eat
- Sleep
- Eat
- Sleep
- =.= now you know why I need someone to fill me up

I got a question though, hope someone can answer me ...
How can I get involve more with life ? I wish I can find some activities to do with friends and new people that I can meet to make my life more happening.
I wonder if anyone could give me some suggestion to find some organization or group activities that I can get involved in =)

As beautiful as winter white,
Flowers turn purple,
Loves falls upon red.

Looking for activities to do after 18th August, call me or msn me ( heaven_gate20@hotmail.com) you might need to talk to me personally for phone number :P so I don't get anonymous calls =.=...

I want to fill my time, so if you got anything happening like church outing, events, trips, movies, games, hang out, talk or watching UFO if you sight 1, make sure you call or inform me in my msn !! thanks :P

My birthday celebration (2nd and 3rd Aug)

2nd August
The event started when I pick up Sherman and Jonathan from Danau Desa. We had a jam on the way since it was weekday (Thursday). We reached there around 7.30 pm and met up with Gadiy. Then we decided to look for classy restaurants, Gadiy's suggestion was at first to have it at All-Star Cafe but then he suggested to try out Chilli's. We agreed and waited for our turn to be seated. We ordered some nachos with beef sauce as starter while waiting for Shaun, James Lim and Han Sheng. We ordered dinner after everyone has arrived. I called for a fagrita .. something like tacos haha while others ordered lamb steak and hamburger (very big hamburger indeed). I drank more than 6 glasses of fruit juice that night. We crapped a lot that night especially with Han Sheng's sexist joke which brings down the ceiling lol. Soon after the dinner, I was surprised with a cake (Chocolate cake with banana inside). It was nice, but sadly I was bloated already with all the tacos !!. We consumed the cake until it left 3 slices and Gadiy started to say that he would dare himself to give 2 pieces of cake to the girls of 6 that sat beside our table who happens to celebrate 1 of their friend's birthday too, such a coincidence huh ? (our table had 7 guys :P). Gadiy talked crapped for 30 minutes without an action that he would do it, the bet on the table was RM5 from himself and Shaun add the stake by putting in a free movie ticket on later :P. Gadiy continued to accused us (Shaun and Me) as Jacun <-- dunno what it means lol... anyways ... suddenly I've decided to do the honor and take up the bet. I gave the ladies the 2 pieces of cake and took a picture with the birthday girl, I didn't want to take the phone number... felt paiseh haha... I got praised by all my friends for bravery :D ... Gadiy was speechless, after the dinner, we decided to catch Die Hard 4.0 or The Simpsons. Gadiy was deciding to pay me RM5 (he owed me RM5 from previous BBQ) but was reluctant to pay up but Shaun forced him @_@. Gadiy felt upset that night and left us alone .. he didn't join us for the movie... however, we moved on ... (hope you're fine now Gadiy, I felt bad) for the movie, there wasn't Die Hard 4.0 anymore so we watched the simpsons, it was really hilarious ! I laughed the whole night for every 3 minute in that movie, definitely a good movie that is worth watching. The night ended after the movie, I drove Sherman back home =) and received tons of SMS in my phone, Thank You To All My Friends !! I love you all =) I had a really nice day =)

James, Shaun, Sherman, Gadiy, Jonathan, Han Sheng, Me =)

My birthday cake with my initials

3rd August
The day started with some birthday SMS from friends =) Then sadly, a lot of them didn't get to turn up in the last minute, Sylvia and Chu Xian turned up for my day, I felt embarrass because there was so little people, but I won't let it affect my day, I took them to Sushi King for lunch. Sylvia presented me a gift =) thanks :D, then after that we went for Pool, Sylvia didn't know how to play so Chu XIan played with me and lost badly .. because he was a beginner. I felt like a bully X_X. After that, we went for bowling X_X I managed to score 2 perfect score only haha .... then after the game of bowling, we decided to go back because Chu Xian had to rush things in the college. I wanted to bring him somewhere to eat, but maybe another time la =) I had a fun day also, thanks for the company, Sylvia and Chu Xian =) Thanks a lot :D

Sing-K at Red Box - Low Yat

It's my first time going to karaoke with my friends ... I must admit I suck in singing !! that's why I would never enter Malaysian Idol ! lol ... anyways it was a good outing. It started out as I need to go to Tong Shin Hospital to clean up my nose. Then, I quickly rush back to Mid Valley to meet up with my friends (Jia Hui, Chu Xian and Wei Cai) before heading to Low Yat =). Thanks for Chu Xian for fetching all of us there .. I am not that experience in running around Kuala Lumpur city :S I get confused easily with the roads ... but slowly but surely, I'll learn how to move about.

We sang for more than 4 hours X_X talk about having sore throat !, but it was fun at the same time, Jia Hui sing like a professional !!, We might plan to have INTI idol soon lol and Jia Hui can be the INTIMA representative !! omg ... then she'll be so happy if she wins :P, Chu Xian didn't sing much ahhh X_X maybe not his style ... same as mine =.= I just sang for fun :P, Wei Cai sing a lot of songs ooo hehe... later comment here ahh !!, I had a lot of laughter. After that session, my friend had to rush back to college for assignment (I also have an assignment due on monday !! argh need to complete it asap after typing this). Sadly, we didn't have the time to go hang kai around other places ... time is soooo precious as you get older ... X_X

P:S forgot to add that wei cai kena the automatic pole X_X I failed to save him, luckily he survived lol ... ok just joking =.=;; I called him 3 seconds before that thing hit him X_X but he still walk at the direction @_@

INTI Ball 2007

INTI Ball 2007 was great, the food was so-so however ... but then again, ladies on that night were fantastically prettier than normal college days, cosmetics really works wonder to ladies, but then again, it's also a night where a lot of love are wrongly chosen out of appearance. Beauty won't win the challenge against time, a ripe beautiful red apple will soon turn into a rotten dirty old apple. Love is count by what is in the heart.

The ball left me a lot of sweeter memories compared to my prom night 2005. The theme was "Today's dream, Tomorrow's memories". The night will always be remembered by myself as a beautiful night filled with dreams that I wanted to achieve, and today it's my memories as I still remember what I dreamt yesterday. Congratz to my friend that won the prom queen, Jia Hui =) and also for the great drama performance by Sarah and Elaine. After that, we had some picture sessions, I'll keep it as my sweet memories. I felt really really happy that night, it's the night that I didn't stop laughing happily and smiling all the way back home :D. @_@ The dance floor was a little too small to accommodate 300+ people ... and the music was too loud.

We received some hampers from Nescafe but sadly I didn't do the free tattoo T_T, it really looked so cool, wanted to pose with it ... but haiz ... too late because the booth was already closed when the ball started.

Argh !

Throws a pebble onto another pebble, you'll bounce the other pebble.

I am just so blur about a certain thing. I wish my heart and mind has another desire. Filling another person's heart with love is hard when your own heart doesn't have enough love.

I'm losing weight ! Why ? Well I don't know, Maybe I've been neglecting myself a lot lately. I'll start to double up my food intake from now on to achieve 14 KG ! Seriously ! I have never seen myself losing 4 KG before. This is a shock !

I've been sick with a bad sore throat for a week now, I wonder why it's not cured yet. I presented badly in my marketing course with the bad cough-cum-presentation. You can start imagine how it was like.

I just got my results today, NOT very happy with it, argh feels like the world is gonna drop on me, I don't feel like thinking about life for the moment, I am so lost.
What are you lost in you might ask, I am lost in life - love - studies - friends and basically everything that moves around in my head.

My eyes spins whenever I hear most of my classmates speaks in mandarin while they can't speak in Cantonese or English. I feel awkward at times, it makes me don't feel like communicating with them as I feel so lost, can't they be more considerate, after all we are still Chinese Malaysian.

I don't think I will ever get her, she's far away beyond my reach, she doesn't even notice me anyway. Probably my curse to swear that I will never get a girlfriend for the next 10 years is coming true since I made it after my last crush. God how I hate myself for being an ass hole and also to everyone, I don't think I even deserve good friends.

Sign off

Facing Destruction Once Again

When you play with fire, you're bound to get fired somehow.

I've been into relationship again. The very main reason everyone wants to be in a relationship is because they want to have some sense of belonging in another person's mind and heart. Yet again I face the destruction in my mind troubling and thinking how to make her mine. It's so much easier to communicate to another person if you think that you are just going to be a mutual friend that's all. Somehow it's harder to speak up to the person that you like. Fearing that they might give negative opinion or a big shock that might leave a scar in your mind.

My friends have always told me that love isn't hard and there is no easy way to get it unless you are very stubborn into the relationship. I tried once to be stubborn and the rest should be untold as it is filled with pain and suffering that no man will want to go through himself. Maybe it isn't my time yet to like another person. I haven't learn the value to not give up so easily, think positive at all times and be calm at every situation. What's more if I make another person's life a misery instead of happiness.

It's funny how my mind works up every time I like another person. Happy thoughts will come and recede with sadness, disapproval and disappointment. Sometimes I hope I never see love itself again after burying the bad one's that I've experienced so far.

Every human being wants acknowledgment, somehow I only get the hard way to be notified as if I got a monster in myself. Life is getting so tough to cling on without anyone beside me. I felt as if my edge has become blunt in life as I fall into the loneliness syndrome. How I hate people judging others through their covers.

There hasn't been a goodness that happened in my life that I would like to remember. Others have happiness as they had friends celebrating their birthday, enjoying rides in theme park together. I've never gone through this. I lack the reliable people around me. All I can do is dream on everyday, imagine that the next day is just another day. Hoping that my life will end somehow from suffering instead of some beauty in life.

I wonder when I will stop ranting about poor old life of mine. I wish I can, probably that would stop me blogging horror vision of my life and post some happiness.

Note

Felt a little sick this weekend due to dryness, should have drank more water with the rising heat these few days.

I had my hands tied up with assignments these few days not to mention having a test next week. I need to double my effort this Sunday. Sadly, I'll busy for the next few weeks with assignments keep coming on. My lecturers are very fuzzy with every detail in our assignment.

I've been watching Underworld and Underworld : Evolution (Part 2) directed by Len Wisemen. It's a great movie I must say, I love werewolves and vampires. Kate Beckinsale is 1 sexy woman inside the movie being the main character. I can't wait for the next installment of the part 3 in year 2009. That will be a little ahead of time but time will catch up with everyone soon.

Movies that awaits in my watching list right now would be Harry Potter. Hopefully I won't be busy during that time.

I've been listening a lot lately to Good Charlotte's : Keep your hands off my girl. I think I got addicted to it's starting beat. A lot of people said it's a bad production from the band. True in some part because the message is not clear in the song.

I'm kind of frustrated with people being selfish minded in my campus. I am doing them a favor but they are not appreciating it. It's sad that people are so narrow minded and can't take up responsibility. E.g I printed notes for the whole class and there is at least 1 black sheep that doesn't purchase it. It makes me feel awkward to become a class representative.

My dad has finally decided to buy a new Ford Ranger (TDCI <-- if i am not mistaken, correct me if i am wrong). This is so cool since it's a light truck with 5 auto gears. I only get my car changed after I graduate. I don't really put a lot of interest into purchasing a great car that can go 150 km/h. As long as it can brings me to my destination, I am happy enough.

I hope all my friends are doing great, it's been a long time since I hang out with you guys. I got tired with DOTA and computer games, haha. Don't get me wrong of being too "pro" but I think games are boring me (talk about gaming since 10 yrs old), I only play them during my leisure now.

That's all for now, I need to get back to my assignment

Meaning

Hmmm I know anyone would be tired to hear someone weeping over another thing over and over again. So I've finally decided to do something as a change. Some sad "dude" that actually called me a dude over the comment on my previous post. I'm sad to say that I've to enable my comment moderation to clean trashes from the comment box. Anyways to get things started, I need not to weep over that dude's pitiful comment over what so called as a "painful" remark that the dude tried to make that he/she could actually think it'll work to make anyone sad but me. I got over for weeping over friendship that goes on a bad cart over the hills. You need not to remind me of why I am disliked. Because you are just another human that just reads the cover of a book.

I don't think I need to get all the high and mighty in this post to make you look down. But I have to say that, everyone has their own choice, not only your rubbish view. If you think I don't deserve it, well it's your choice, there are still a thousand over people to make their decision. Sorry to say that the world is run this way with majority. And it will be painful to have a person like you "dude" to be a leader because you are not capable to value a person. Moreover, you are just another bad mouthing rat that spreads toxic to your poor friends to consume lies. Then again, I appreciate that you actually took your time to find my friendster and between your friends to get my blogspot.

Just forget it about trying to fire more fire crackers into my blogspot. I'm tired of seeing those colour effects. You might be thinking "o cool a reply from the jerko, let's tell everyone to read". Well read on, because I will still continue to ride on this world and in my blog as I wish to post anything I want to post about rather it's about you, my life, or anything else. And I can choose to judge whether if you're welcome or not.

I'm not the person here that is trying to create a bad flame war, but I guess you (dude) started it. Good night

Hardship in College Life

It happened that yesterday, I handed in my form for my running for the INTIMA (Inner Most) Student Board as President, a bad tomato which I have never spoken to for 3 semester had finally voiced out his view on me being the future President if I ever get elected that I will never get my chance until next life. How thoughtful of him, people such as these in Subang Jaya should have rot to death in my point of view. Remember that whatever you will say with your pathetic tongue that spreads poison can kill you in return with your face smashed from every corner of the world.

If he thinks he's too good, he might as well go run for it instead of talking too much trash. I doubt he would, even if he gets to be the president. He'll be a bad leader like President Bush. Favouritsm and member bashing. Not even before election, there is already bad mouthing on other candidate. I can't really tolerate these kind of people in Malaysia.

On the other hand, I wonder if I would be able to compete the president seat with my low qualification. Some workaholic loves to achieve certificates to prove. 1 of my friend said that a a certificate is better than action or words everywhere. I wonder how I will overcome this problem.

People in Subang Jaya are strange. Just because you don't talk to them and had never got the chance to start a good proper conversation. They'll start to make an image out of you by spreading bad rumours that you have never done in your life. This has not only happened to me but also for Indian student and foregin student. I find this a sad case. If I ever get the chance to be president. I vow to make changes that will help my college to turn into a friendly sociable place to study in rather than a zombie town that doesn't know each other within the campus.

It's funny that when the people that hate you suddenly sees you trying to climb a high ladder like me trying to run for the President seat. A so called classmate of mine which I have never acknowledge until she starts a proper conversation who is also trying to run for the vice president thinks I'll never get the president seat because she actually said "he'll never get it, trust me". Well enough of my useless classmates that are hopeless even they can do well in academic, they still suck in PR. If you want to choose your friends, without even caring about other peoples feeling that you can simply trash your words on someone, then I think these people shouldn't deserver anything even mercy when they are at the tip of death.

Another thing about my assignment mate is that, he thinks he's pretty good that he can actually find most of the material which I am proud of but he's simply calling all the shots as if I need not to do anything. Well that's good for him, but he's giving me bad impression that he's too proud of himself because he feels more superior than me when I give him a little bit of face. I actually finished my part of assignment and asked him to double check to see if it suits but he actually gave me a good reply of "Go check it yourself, if it's wrong, you'll die yourself". I am proud of these students in Malaysia that will act so selfishly in assignment. No wonder there is no teamwork in online games in Malaysia Server nor is there any teamwork in real life.

However, out of everything that is still light in the darkness. There are still people that are playing teamwork. I wonder why I am surrounded by too lazy - weak people or too clever - arrogant fools.

Things that happened lately

Well, let's start by saying I watch Pirates of the Caribbean 3 yesterday with Sheng at MV. The movie was great and I think I am in love with Keira Knightley ! (I'm just a guy ...).

Then today... (Saturday), I was suppose to go for my orientation night at my campus (INTISJ) but didn't turn up for it at the last minute because ... my friend said it wasn't interesting and insisted me to play at CC instead... I really wanted to go for the orientation night but ... I don't know what happened to my Will ... >.<

Sunday I'll plan to do a lot of things ... finish my assignment part, photocopy some document and passport size photo for my election in my college's student body... I hope I can really take up the duty. It's a good opportunity for me to learn more things ... but at the same time I have fear that I might not be able to do it well.

The guy that never moves on

Well, for those that doesn't know, it's been a long time since I last hung on a love cycle (2005). I don't think I will ever recover from that deep wound after so long. Hopefully things will change soon in my mind for the better thoughts in future. The reason I'm saying this is because I think I lost my sense of love. I am fearful to fall in love because I've been in a failure streak. Moreover, I've never loved anyone before, I don't know how to give love to someone that I actually like. It feels depressing sometimes to think that we have no one to truly provide love. You can say easily that "why not give your love for God?". Perhaps that will be another matter.

To summarize, I am just confused on what is love, I don't feel anything that relates to love because I don't know how it feels anymore. How I wonder how love would be like, does anyone set condition to love someone ?
I know it's not the time to think about all this things but I just want to express it out from my mind rather than keeping it inside and never to be foretold.

Nothing Much

Like the title says, things are beginning to get busy, statistic is so hard because my course didn't go through the basic statistic before that. I had no idea why my head of program didn't appoint us to learn the basics first.

Assignments are already handed out, it's time I need to scratch my butt out from the sleeping mood and start doing them. Gosh how I want to say that I hate assignments >.<

Couldn't log into blogspot these few days, it took forever to load the log in page that I got fed up of logging into blogspot for a few days.

It has been raining heavily these few days during the evening. Strangely it stopped after 30 minutes later every time. I actually didn't do anything for break today as I felt so tired after chomping down a nasi lemak and a 750ml soy bean drink.

The Pirate of Caribbean 3 is coming out next Thursday but I plan to watch it on Friday, anyone interested ? leave me a msg through my phone, msn or in here =)

Cyclone

Things have been cyclonic this week as my mind goes round and round and round over matters.

Firstly, the thoughts of my current course, I feel as if I can't continue it anymore as it was too tough for me, it brings me back to my alternative to pharmacy course. Then again after looking back at those science paper gives me the headache. I felt helpless that I am no good in other things. I looked so desperate in need to search a way in life. I am afraid I might make the wrong decision that will carry on for the rest of my life in regret.

Secondly, the thought of part time job, I've never took up a part time job before because I probably don't know if I am able to do a job well. I don't know what job will suit me well, and I don't know when I can actually start taking up a part time job when I have studies to catch. It makes me curious how the work life would be.

Thirdly, I heard this over the radio (Hitz FM) about releasing our rant, anger, dissatisfaction and complain in life to another person that is willing to listen to our life. The radio said that we should not keep everything in ourselves. I think I have failed the whole thing in this part, I don't think I own a human heart anymore too. The reason I say this is because I do not complain, I rant no more, people are annoyed when I complain. People will just love to keep my complain and hurl it back at me in backfire. I just hate it when I want to make friends but I have to risk of being back stabbed at the same time if I fail to "pleasure" them in the friendship.
I am in such a misery that makes me think that trusting anyone will be my fatal flaw. I haven't had a good social life for a long time. I haven't meet anyone that is willing to sit down and talk to me. I haven't met someone that could actually knows what my mind wants. No, this is not about even finding a girlfriend, this is about just friends. It tires me that people around my age will boast about being in a good relationship with friends and family. Actually, it angers me somehow. I think I am tired to get into anymore relationship, it's better to be a loner.

Fourthly, I don't know why but I think I am losing respect in life. Whenever I tell something right, people won't just listen for once that I felt as if I want to kill them for not being rational in life. No elaboration further, I think this is unnecessary.

New Semester

It's the beginning of another new semester, there isn't much new faces to look at in my class today. Old boring relationships are about to roll again. Anyways not interested in friendship or girlfriend or boyfriend (if you think I am gay).

Anyways let's skip the relationship part and go to the subjects. Gosh I can start to imagine this semester is going to be tough ! There is a subject that is 100% based on assignment !! Crap. Then for the statistic subject, it is 100% examination based and it has 50 MCQ (Multiple Choice Question) question... wow that's like 2% for 1 MCQ.

It was a hot day today, my eyes could melt from the strong sunshine that could instantly blind my vision. Not to mention car windscreen that reflects even more light that adds in my eye can burn like "The Ghost Rider".

Well I hope I will start to enjoy my subject, I wonder if I can have a stable friendship with anyone this semester, cheers to myself.

___________________________________________________________________

I've finally finished watching House MD Season 3 up to episode 10, I can't wait to download episode 11 - 21, if anyone happens to have a demonoid.com account, please send me an invitation code ! I really want to be a member in there to download the latest House MD TV series, Thank you very much !! =)

Thoughts

So sorry that I didn't get to post these few days, I went for enrollment on 3rd May. I was glad that I passed all my subjects phew... right now I'm in my semester 2. I'll have Statistic, English, Finance, Microeconomic and Marketing subject. It'll be my first time having Finance >.< I wonder if the subject is hard.

I'm so glad that I can finally go back college after a long holiday (yea 3 weeks is long if you have nothing to do but sleep and play at home). But maybe my thoughts will change after the first week in college where I will beg for holiday but that's life right ? :P

Argh I can't think what I wanted to write since yesterday night !! actually I got few things to write about the way I think the way life runs and what makes me indifferent from other people. I think I'll need time to elaborate on them in my mind before putting this into post.

Spiderman 3

It's been awhile since I've blogged about something unnecessary, anyways this blog will be about the movie spiderman 3 =)

The event started when I booked 6 tickets few days before the movie in Midvalley. At first everyone was reluctant to join me for the movie because they were either busy, sick, not interested, outstation or having another important event going on. But at the last minute I called Sheng and Sherman to join me, Sherman brought his friends along to fit the 6 ticket slot. We had to pay RM12 per ticket gosh =.= how I dislike public holiday because we can't get student price !!.

Anyways about the movie, it's pretty cool and funny at the same time and also a little sad. But for some part of the movie, it failed to bring out the real feeling to the audience. The director has finally added in some hilarious joke to cheer up the sequence from its boring storyline.

Overall I would rate it 7.5/10, it's a good movie, next stop will be Pirates of the Caribbean 3 =).

After the movie, we decided to move out from Midvalley to have a game at MMORPG and after that I drove Sheng home.

Overall it's an enjoying day, I wish I can watch good movies everyday to cheer me up =).

On the other hand I had to enroll this 3rd May, gosh I am anxious of my result, I hope I didn't screw up any papers. My college starts next week Monday, finally I can get to attend college.

Sweet Childhood Memories I Want It Back

Sweet memory when was young!!
Message: If you are Msia's 80s
baby,read through
this, we grew up watching Transformers,
Thundercats, Woody Woodpecker,
Chipmunks, Mickey Mouse, Jem, Mask,
Ninja Turtles, Voltron, Baja Hitam,
Ultraman n not forgettin POWER RANGERS
n BUGS BUNNY!!!and anderra yippa mice?
:), McGyver ?

had to brush our teeths during recess
at primary school? had to hold plastic
cups, line up with your classmates side
by side and start brushing our teeths
at some open area... or maybe near some
drain??

do you still remember that we had
'dentist' rooms where we had to have
our
teeths check?

not to forget our 'program minum susu'
in primary school.. everybody is
suppose
to buy like cartons of milk that costed
30 cents.. and you would see everyone
drinking it everyday...its d UHT
milk...

the teachers who would want to punish
us must use yellow rulers to hit us on
our palms?? 1 metre length..

that a bowl of mihun soup or some soup
only costed 50 cents at the school
canteen...

went to some sundry shop near the
school
or to the 'roti' man waiting outside
our
schools so that we can buy junk food
like chickedees, mamee, ding dang with
some toys in it, 'Ti Kam', ice-cream
and
we would play games like monopoly, uno,
old maid, and all other card games like
that...

another fun time would be during
Pendidikan Jasmani. the boys would
play football while the girls would
play netball... and it would be like we
were playing in the world cup...

but of course. the best would be main
guli, batu seremban, bottlecaps, ice-
cream sticks, 'Pepsi Cola
one-two-three', Cops and Robbers, main
kejar-kejar duduk,getah... and for the
not so active, those kind of 'book
games' where we would use buku latihan
to draw and ask our friends to play...

do you remember the ice-cream tubes
which are actually ice and colouring
that are sold for 10 to 20 cents.. the
colourful ones.. where you usually bite
off the top to glup it down.orange
tastes b best..(pop-ice)

what about days when we felt like doing
naughty things such as folding papers
so small to make 'lastik' amd shoot
each other... how about throwing
chalks??

back then, micheal jackson was just
turning white.. and still had albums
coming out.. compared to CD's, we were
listening to tapes that sold for RM9.90
...

in computer class, we were still using
black and white computer moniters..
played 'Atari'... maybe SEGA or
NINTENDO..

well, are we all getting older or what?

1) if you understand what you have read
and you are smiling...

2) we have friends from school that are
already married...

3) we shake our heads everytime we
see high school students fussing about
their handphones in school..

4) we don't hang on phone with our
friends for hours a day talking about
nothing...

5) when we meet back with our friends
from time to time, we feel excited and
happy talking about old times, the
funny 'adventures' or stories that we
experienced as a kid..

6) last but not least, that when you
read this, you would think of all the
happy & sad memories that you have
experienced when you were still a kid
and would think of forwarding this to
your old friends that you have known
since forever... i'm sure they would
have a huge smile on their face after
reading this.....

p.s: if u feel u're one of them who
experinced this, repost this to share
it
wif ur frens... ;)

Love version 2

Sometimes I think of love, it makes me sour and sweet about its memories.

Sometimes I hate love because it's so sickening, hectic and confusing.

Sometimes I want love because I am miserable, lonely and sad

All my heart wants to say is to have a lovely lady that I could hug, love and spending sweet time together. All this will probably occur in my dreams now.

I'm so left out from the society that I feel like an outcast, someone so unique in this world that can't mix with the normal humans. God, I wonder why my personality is so indifferent from so many people.

Pokemon and Harvest Moon

Hmmm, for this 1st week holiday, it's all about pokemon and harvest moon everyday and then DOTA. How boring can it be ? I'm bored to death as I soon finish the pokemon: emerald version and now playing the dead boring harvest moon. My mind is gonna rot soon if I go on like this, talk about my plan to go for this sports day in my secondary school but not many people that I knew will turn up. Hmmm what should I do ? spend more time in MPH searching for an interesting book ? Any recommendation ?

My wish list game would be to get a working Pokemon: FireRed and LeafGreen version .. somehow I can't get the rom that would run FireRed and LeafGreen can't seem to save ! argh

Boring Holidays Ahead

Hmm, can anyone recommend me on what to do if I had 3 weeks holiday ? Games are boring me and I wish there is someone to go out with or bring me to do something fun or help me learn something like a new stuff.

All I did for today was jogging during the afternoon and that's all, it was tiring though as I did some extras and then went to eat at Happy Garden for dinner. Hmm I need to get out of this dull boring holiday like I always have been having for the past years. Help me to suggest something !! TQ

TMNT

Yesterday, I went to Midvalley to catch TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), it was a great as it helps me to recall my childhood heroes. I remembered that I used to play TMNT in my Sega which now lies in a pile of junk as it's been 12 years ago. It's been replaced by PS2 and PS3 which I don't own because I don't have anymore space to keep :P.

My finals is finally over, I'm now pretty free, a lot of time to rest and slack around but hmm where ? probably I'll do some simple workout during this break. Anyone wants to join me for a jog or swimming ? =)

Signing off

Gamer and Gaming

I'm an avid gamer when I was small, it's fun to play games. My constructive mind loves to play strategy when I was small like Heroes: Might and Magic, Starcraft and Warcraft. After the development of Half Life and 3 years later Counter Strike, the gaming life of mine starts to drive further as I soon got very much addicted to it.

The feeling of being a gamer if sometimes because we seek attention and aside of that to seek entertainment and adventure. Whenever I am good in a game, I try to seek glory from it by challenging another player. It feels good inside me where it makes me happy when I win. Although there is a saying "It's just a game", how many player would actually mean it if let's say you're defeated badly or you're playing in a championship like WCG ?

After the development of DOTA which I didn't bother to touch ever since it got developed until my account in Ragnarok Online got wiped and there was no more online games that could actually attract my attention (MapleStory). The development of DOTA was great until now, everyone is enjoying the game and it has even entered into the game played in WCG competition. I'd wish I could have a unlimited credit card where I can purchase my dream game which is World Of Warcraft because I haven't got enough of playing my cool dwarf hunter. I had only managed to play for 2 weeks when WOW just entered open beta before it went gold. It was fun though that I actually kept awake 18 hours just to play it during my school holiday during year 2004.

The development of games have it's bad effects though. When the first cyber cafe was first opened, many students would actually skip school to catch a game with their friends and waste pocket money. Keep in mind that when cyber cafe business was not well known yet, it was charging RM4, imagine a cyber cafe that charges RM4 now ? I bet everyone shouts RIP OFF but imagine during that time like year 2000.

Bad gaming experience has also resulted in anger where you can see last in cyber cafe that if someone is so pissed off because he got killed for billions of times that he can't stand it anymore but to punch the person that is right next to him or the "killer" that killed him numerous time. I bet you have read about cyber cafe rage that went to even armed weapon like parang.

Furthermore, some games are too addictive and could even force people to play non-stop until they are drop dead such as the south korean case where a man stayed awake for 72 hours before collapsing and died on the spot because of malnutrition and lack of sleep.

And the most famous one of all is foul language and bad sportsmanship, how "rarely" have you seen people not cursing inside the cyber cafe loudly as if he was the king of the world. I bet you've experienced this in ANY games where you meet an opponent that is so childish that can't help but to bug you and taunt you with any grammar he/she can find in their head just to annoy your gaming experience.

The lack of sportsmanship really turned down a lot of avid gamers because of the lousy gaming experience they are receiving. The point is, we should let game consume our mind and corrupt us from doing things that is called "life". It's not to say that you can't have fun, but there is a limit where you should do something in life like getting a job, get a good result in exam or get a girlfriend and interact and make friends.

Out of the negative side, gaming helps to create an active mind and help to stimulate the brain with action visually. In the recent report, even surgeons should play games to do better in using a mechanical hand through a computer.

I'm just a lover for games but most people refer gamers as geeks. Everyone wishes to enjoy life in a specific ways. Some find pleasure playing games, some find pleasure reading novels and etc. Even gamers or geeks should deserve love, caring and help from others. I will still probably play games even though I'm married, unless your life is filled up with your wife or friends or by work. But then again, gaming is another healthy lifestyle other than going to pubs and drink all morning to release tension in exchange for illusive "entertainment" from drinking beer.

Moreover, You might start getting crippled for playing too much game by sitting all day long, so get some life and go out and take an exercise for an hour. Walk around malls with your family or friends.

Exams

You know the way exams torment your mind into memorizing every single word in the text book and requires you to "vomit" everything out from the question paper. It's just a horrible feeling for me every time I take an exam. Especially when I dislike a subject or know nothing about what the lecturer is blabbering about in the lecture hall.

I really regret taking up business though, it's less fun but it's a little easier than being a science student. I wish I can do doctor if only I had a brilliant mind that helps to keep every information on every strange virus, bacteria or infection that doesn't require me to memorize it for days. Then again I love being practical like making a website or maybe mixing stuff like chemistry. Being a marketing student is really a tough job to me.

I feel as If I just flunk my last paper, it's so hard for my brain to actually digest the notes. But right now I am glad that I finished my exam. It's time my mind can finally enjoy peace and serenity. It's been a torment in the exam hall where you sit and answer that complicated paper while your hands and mind is freezing with chill with 8 air cons blowing at high power with high fan.

If only exams were more practical and require you to do something like driving during your car license exam. Maybe they should make pharmacist to create the flying dutch man from a poof of chemical or require doctors to do a biospy. And maybe for a marketer probably try to make us do some real work like successfully marketing a product in the campus?

People judge another person by how clever they are based on their exam result. But we should try something more innovative like creating our own idea or theory. Maybe that will help us to build a better country and contribute more. Rather than trying to learn to be like Einstein.

Blame

I know everyone hates to be blamed for something that they did wrong or something that they have never did. The reason people blame others ? probably because they don't want to accept the punishment openly and trying to find a scapegoat.

So let's say, if your internet connection was suddenly down in your house while you were using it and it's being shared by your siblings, they'll start finding you and ask why is the connection down and start to blame as if it's all your fault for making it down while you were using it and it wasn't your fault because it was the streamyx fault. Have you ever encounter this scenario or something similar to this ?

I'm getting so frustrated with my siblings, mainly the reason is too many to mention out and it's not worth my emotion to blast them out here. Simply to say, sometimes it drives me nuts and I feel like leaving my family.

I feel sad that sometimes I can't have a happy family like some of my other friends has. Life ain't so beautiful as we can imagine or like what movies always show or what you read in storybooks. Life is just plain hectic and I am just trying to survive in it as long as I can.

I feel so broken apart now as I don't know where I should be standing. If only I had a better life, that's what I hope for, I'm willing to pay everything it cost to have another life. I don't really fear death unlike most people does because they have their love ones or they are having a perfect life. I don't own anything in this world, I lost everything I can hold onto.

Suicide won't be the best way but if only God will take my life away at an earlier time. I hope I can live to my fullest life everyday from now on.

New Lifestyle Timetable

Let's just say that I am trying to make myself to fit into a new living schedule because of all these time I've been living with just computer, eat and sleep everyday which makes my life so lifeless and dull. So from now on I'll try to live a healthier and a better lifestyle by sleeping before 11 pm and lessen my computer usage and do more sports during the afternoon.

I'll be having my finals this saturday and also for next week. Hopefully I will score the papers with flying colours.
My plans after my exams will be to watch movies that I didn't have the chance to watch which is "The Reaping" and then during my break until May, I'll be watching "Spiderman 3" =) I wonder who wants to accompany :D

You might wonder what's with the sudden change, hmm probably I will say that something suddenly went into my mind and tell me to do so...
For now, I will need to study hard first for my finals, I can have fun at another time =)

So sorry about the slow upload of pictures into my another post "My trip to Kuantan", I have totally forgotten about it. I will try my best to upload it as soon as possible.

Down on earth

I'm feeling as if I am lying on the road soaked with raining water looking above the dark night sky with rain water pouring on me. I ponder why I am such a failure in life.

It was my very first time to fail to present an assignment so badly. My coursework mates were basically worked out but only 3 out of 5 worked for the coursework. My job was to design the website and because I was so busy I forgot to do 1 of my part in the website because I had to help out my weaker course mates. I felt so sad as something was making to feel that way :(.

I hope I will have a better time next semester. I'll try to keep my promise to fulfill all my assignments on time. It was heart breaking as my teammates didn't put up any efforts and it's hard for me to accept something that is not partially my fault but then again this is effect for being a team.

I'm feeling so depressed as if the sky has fallen on me, every time I fail something I felt like dying.

My Trip To Kuantan

Ahh it was an unplanned trip actually (31st March 2007 - 1st April 2007), furthermore I was debating in my mind that I had a lot of assignments that are still not done and the due date was next week. But then again maybe I should find myself sometime to adventure back my mom's hometown since I've never been back there for years like (10+ years). The reason my family went back to Kuantan was to pray my ancestor (great grandmas (grandpa's side and grandma's side) and grandpa).

31st March 2007

The journey took 3 hours + as it was 280 KM away and along the highway there are a lot of mechanical eyes that will catch you if you speed more than 110km/h. After my family reached Kuantan, we first had cendol and rojak at a so called "Cendol No.1 in Kuantan" stall. After that, we checked into M&S Garden Hotel =). It's the most well known hotel in Kuantan's city. The lifestyle at the city is strange and it's much more different than KL's lifestyle. There is literally no cyber cafe so don't hope to find one if you ever enter Kuantan.

There drivers over there drives very slowly and I mean really slow like taking their own sweet time. Furthermore, the traffic lights are magnificent; they have a countdown more than 99 seconds (those countdown traffics like PJ) which is almost as long as 2 minutes! Gosh If I am in KL, I bet all the cars will honk till their ears drop and hunt down KL's City Hall Mayor.

Anyways, after we have checked into the hotel, we dropped off our things and head towards the beach. Obviously, the beach in Kuantan is as dirty as other places but it's a little hmm... should be cleaner than Port Dickson's Beach. Most of the people in Kuantan will spend their time on the beach since they don't use the internet much so literally falling in love in Kuantan is the only thing couples will do. Their entertainment will be more to karaoke and clubbing although it's not as fun as KL's Clubs =) (No, I don't do clubbing). I took a lot of pictures of tamed monkey that were wandering at the beach.

I sat at the shore to enjoy the hit of the waves and after 2 hours later, we head back to our hotel to clean up and had dinner. My aunt that lives in Kuantan took us to a nearby restaurant that is near to our hotel. The food was fine, most of it are seafood, I guess Kuantan is famous for its seafood =). After dinner, I head back to the hotel to find some entertainment which I failed literally as it was late already (9 pm) and Parkson that is just beside my hotel is about to closed at 10 pm. I must say it's convenient to live at the hotel since there are so many food stall nearby and GSC is just beside you =).

I loved the hotel as it's big (bigger than first world) but a 2 day 1 night stay is RM188 (promotion).Kuantan has a lot of food stalls ranging from tom yam seafood to a lot of seafood related dishes that you can think of (curry head, fish head, crabs, prawns). I had my little cousin brother and sister at my hotel room at night to watch movie until 1 am where they had to go back home and rest for tomorrow's cheng meng at the hill. I was hungry that night before I went to sleep at 2.30 am; I had 2 maggie mee cups before dozing off from doing some of my homework.

1st April

I woke up at 6 am actually but felt too tired and slept until 7 am where my mom woke me up to go to the cemetery. It was literally jammed up even though it’s early in the morning. It was my first time praying for my ancestor that I have never seen before ( I can't even read their name craved on the tombstone - banana :( ). After praying, we head back to our hotel to have our breakfast.

My mom and my brother had nasi dagang and me and my sis had breakfast at the hotel's restaurant. After eating breakfast, me and my cousins decide to swim in the hotel's swimming pool. We swam until 11.30 am where we decided to clean up and checked out from the hotel. We checked out at 12.45 pm and headed towards an orchard farm. The original plan was to go to the beach but it was drizzling. My aunt bought 3 orchids since it was literally cheap in Kuantan.

After buying those orchids, we went to a nearby Chinese dim sum restaurant to eat before heading to my aunt's house to hang out awhile and chat. After that, we refilled our petrol and head back home at 3.30 pm. I reached home at 7.30 pm and ate at my nearby mamak.

The trip was satisfying although there wasn't enough time to explore more about Kuantan and so many foods I haven't tried out.
There are some pictures that I took but I'll probably upload them later when I am free ... =) enjoy.

Love

Being lured into a big crush during high school was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life so far. Thinking back during that time made me look silly for what I did. She is not the person that I would actually pick to be my crush. I guess all I had in truth was her looks rather than her character and I admit that. I was so stubborn for love during that time even my friends have advised me a lot. I can't even believe I turned on some of my friends, if I had a time machine I would choose a different action. Time and experience does change me to better person that I am before this.

Most guys or girls will most likely have different way to fall in love with. For a guy, he would probably fall in first sight love with another girl because of her appearance and looks, that's the mentality of every single male species that god have created for a reason. I felled into this degree in my first crush, in fact a look of a girl's can trick a guy's eyes, and she was cold blooded to me. Basically I was like kamikaze-ing myself in my mind dreaded to love her but to no avail she was so cold as if she has no heart. She even had someone to act as her boyfriend just to break me into pieces. I felt like a fool that time as I thought by being devoted I might get something good in return but I guess I was wrong, I was hurt so much that I fear so much to love another girl.

For a girl, probably it would be different as I know most girls won't fall in love in first sight unless it's a huge celebrity like Rain. A girl will want to have a perfect man that could actually buy her anything and being able to wash his own clothes and underwear and keeping the home tidy. Most importantly, a girl would most likely want his guy to be as handsome as a star but how many girls have been played into a bad boy's hand? How many girls have already hurt enough good guys’ heart by flirting with them?

Young love is just like a young bud that is still naive and being playful just before it blooms into a flower. How many times we would say "I belong to you forever" when we fall in love deeply? In fact after you broke up, you felt as if the world wasn't fair to you. Never say something that you don't mean it for eternity just like "I love you forever". Are you sure you really meant I love you forever or for the time being or I just love to use the word "love you forever" because it is more romantic ?

If you want a true love, why not spend some time to evaluate your partner? Just because he looks like Tom Cruise, you don't give a damn if he's treating you like a sex slave? or because she has a good body that you would just take her into your life just because of sex and dump her later because she was not good enough for you ? Spend some time together and have some fun to evaluate each other and find something in common that you would share about together to open up more rooms for each other to discover. Love each other with understanding, rather than biting each other whenever you quarrel up. It's always best to work things up together and love each other together rather than being 1 sided like the guy did more job to attract the girl because the girl was more attractive and soft. This will most likely bring up quarrel like "I am breaking up with you!" and the guys will always be at the losing end because they did more work for love and feels angry because the girl just want to let go just like that.

Why turn love into hate? Because she doesn't like you anymore or he doesn't like you anymore, you start to tell tale about that person behind their back or even curse them. Why must everyone do this, I don't really understand at first until I think about thisbefore you love a girl, you would tell her all the romantic things.after you broke up with her because you acted like a jerk and disrespectful to heryou start to curse her and hope she dies. Look into this, you’ve already thought of cursing her, does that show you how much you actually love her from the beginning? This is called “selfish”I saw this drama when I was dining at McD in MidV when this couple came halfway up the staircase when suddenly the guy pinched the girl's tummy and obviously, who wouldn't get mad, the girl splashed him with soft drinks and ran off just like that, I was hoping for more from the girl because the guy was obviously acting like a jerk and being physical abusive.

I might add that, there should be trust in love, what's the point of not trusting each other in love when you are going to live in the same roof together. By having trust, you could actually give more about yourself and devote yourself more to each other because there are no lies that will cloud your mind to think negative thoughts that might haunt your beauty sleep at night and get worried over nothing.

Honesty comes with trust, if you're being honest, you have nothing to hide from each other that might make yourself suspicious towards each other, wouldn't it be nice if you (guy) come back from home cheerfully after a hard day and greet your wife and enjoy a good dinner at night without any worries and share the night together watching dramas or catching some night life together? You won't have to worry that you might have an affair outside or getting worried with your budget that you might need to sell off your car because you are not doing so well at work.
It's always best to share your trouble with your partner, after all they are your best and closest companion that will help to relieve your mind and find a solution. This will also furthur enhance your relationship as you bond up closer together.

Don't be selfish in love, be more giving, everything should work out fine and I know everyone wants to ask how about your love sasori? Hmm probably it’ll come soon or later just like my friend said to me "God has arranged everything for you" though I am not christian.

My Dog

No... he's not dead lol and I didn't knock him out while I took this picture, he woke up suddenly while I was snapping a picture of himHe's 13 years old in dog year that's around 90+ in human age
My mom found him dirty and tired in my nearby playground and took him in, I was so afraid of him when he first entered into my house because I never had a dog ! but after a week, I start to like him =)
He's very friendly and doesn't bark much and alway welcomes visitor, my cousins love to play with him whenever they visit my house during CNY. Then again ... he's deaf now and suffering from a little cataract in the eyes and cough (yes ... first time you heard a dog cough often like an old man ?)
He eats anything =.= more like DBKL and I don't know what type of dog is he, he's very small, half of a size of a dalmation dog and very furry with white, black and yellow hair.
He used to stood next to me when I cried and told him what happened. I makes me feel relieve when there is nothing beside me that will actually hear my cries and actually gave me comfort and won't get tired of listening.
He loves to run outside of my house compound and I was afraid he'll get run down by cars !There was thrice he got lost when he was wondering outside of my house.. I remembered I cycled everywhere and every neighbouring house to see if he entered any of the houses ! Gosh...
Right now .. he's being bullied by cats as my backyard has a lot of big black and grey haired cats that is as big as his size doesn't seem to fear him =.= unless he starts to get provoked by those cats :P. Gosh he's so friendly to cats now... he'll stare at them right infront of him...
I will really miss him ... a dog's life is only 15 years nothing can replace him ...
P:S I love how cute he sleeps when he stick his tongue out ! haha luv to kacau his tongue while he still haven't notice lol.Pets history: 3 dead rabbit, 2 dead hamster, 2 dead birds, plenty of dead goldfish but those are another story :P

Mr. Bean's Holiday

Mr. Bean travels to the South of France on holiday, causing the usual mayhem and ending with an unscheduled screening of his video diary at the Cannes Film Festival.

Another sequence with Rowen Atkinson that acts as Mr. Bean, this movie is filled with many hilarious joke that will create a non-stop laughter coming from the audience.

I had a non stop laughing session almost most of the scene especially with Mr. Bean playing a fool infront of his newly gifted video camera. His famous icon which is replayed from most of his previous TV series that will never bored us up.

The best part is, Mr. Bean doesn't understand French or Spanish which made things worse for him as he could not find his way around in France. I leave the rest for the audience to judge =)

Friendship

It happens that you have not talked to your friend for a month or not seeing them for a long time after you have graduated from high school. Will your friend somehow still contact you or have you just found out that from the 400 friends you've made, none of them remembered you after your graduation?
Ever seen your friends have changed a lot after they have gotten a girlfriend in life? That they don't talk to any other people and start to make life only for 2 of them. They made it as if the surrounding around them are nothing and the people around them are strangers. I got some friends that actually ignored me after being inside a relationship. However, I got friends that still keep their friend even they are inside a relationship.
Don't you think these kind of people are rather selfish or forgetful? Will you forget your friends after you've left a place? Will you even forget your friends around you after you have gotten a girlfriend or boyfriend? Have you noticed that your friends have found you less important in their life compared to their new friends they have made?
Friendship does move on with time, remember the days during kindergarten where everyone were so afraid of each other but by the time the school has started, teachers began to introduced them to each other. Making friends when we were small were so much easier, where no one who would care if you were black, brown, yellow or white. Then again, there weren't hard feelings when we graduate from kindergarten and moved on to primary school life because we were too young to even remember how our friends even look like when our brains has finally it's mind.
Primary school life was a lot more fun than kindergarten, you get to run in a bigger playground or should I say school compound and play jump rope and other big sports like badminton and football than being restricted to small toys and sitting in class most of the time during kindergarten. You made more friends during those 6 years of primary school and have forged a bond with your friends but guess what happens after you've left your primary friends to pursue your own preferred secondary school with your UPSR results for a few years later ?
Even a school reunion organized by my friend didn't helped much. Many of them didn't turn up because some changed their numbers and addresses. During the reunion hardly anyone can get along well in a conversation that might spark any big interest. Everyone has forgotten each other but they will still remember me as being the naughtiest boy in the primary school. Life has also changed when your friends have graduated from their high school and pursue their studies in college and universities. Some migrated and has left their friends in Malaysia that is soon to be forgotten other than their close ones.
Suddenly, you got a phone call from your old friend that you've not seen since you've graduated in high school, they start to talk about how much he missed you but guess what? Your old buddy starts to talk about business relationship that will earn him some commission in the name of friendship after so many years of not having in contact with him
You can say that you have over 400 over friends in your friendster list but do you think you can manage up to 400 friends? Even a professor in a lecture hall finds it hard to control 200 students. Do you even have the time to talk everyone of them in those 400 people? Being a typical Malaysian, we will always have the excuse of being forgetful that we have got used to since secondary school for not bringing our homework.
You won’t consider a person as a friend just because they were strangers to you in a few second, the next moment they request for your email address to add you into their instant messenger or friendster. A real friend would be someone that will be there for us when we are in need; they are willing to sacrifice for us when we get into trouble. A real friend wouldn’t forget us because we are away from them for a long time.
Do you think your previous friends that used to jump rope with you during primary school days are still your best friends? Or would you say that someone tried to revive you when you fainted somewhere in your college or even carried you on his back to the emergency room to help you and later you found out that the person tried to save you was your good friend you have just made in college?

Sick Life Of Human Being.

You're someone out there yet to be known to the world, imagine a young kid that just entered secondary school or a student that has entered college for the first day to make friends with and found out that it is so hard to make friends with. Then imagine what would you think a young kid like that would do to attract attention ?

Positively someone would think:

1. Get active in sports and train as hard as possible to be number 1
2. Get good scores in results to attract others
3. Joining clubs
4. Be more approaching/active rather than passive when meeting someone

But if someone fails all these, what do you think they would do ?

1. They would most like take drug to take away the sickening life of boringness
2. Taking up smoking to look "cool" just because they are unwanted in the society good society but there are plenty of "friends" in the smoking society
3. Feeling life is worthless, thinking negatively, disobedience to their parents, gambling, drinking

What pushes people to do all these ?, because they are probably left out by the society that they try to fit into but somehow everyone seems to be egoistic about themselves. I feel that people shouldn't leave another one behind just because they are different.

I know MAJORITY of the public view others by the cover although you would say "NO", just because someone looks like a gremlin or an orge doesn't mean you can't make them as friends, I see a lot of people wouldn't get along with foreign people especially if they are not their own kind, see China students for example, malaysian can stick along but what if a nigerian ? why most of the MALAYSIAN ignore them ? just because of their skin colour or because you judge what others say about nigerian in their country as liar and cheaters ?

I seriously can't stand people saying hey I don't like you because you wear glasses, you're not handsome, you're stupid, you're worthless, you're too short, you're not cute enough, you're not cool enough. WHAT IS ALL THESE !?!? I know some of you Malaysian would do this.
Another dangerous thing about people is the word "Assumption", [You] assume someone would know what you think everytime,you think everyone is the same with your thinking, but have you put yourself in another person's shoes ? Because you assume, you think it's the right action, you never thought of other's feelings
Why can't we live in peace and harmony ?

if the people could stop cheating each other, backstabbing each other, blackmailing each other, murdering each other, scolding each other in Malaysia, I think Malaysia would have been a better place to live in rather than living in a sick mind in everyday's life

Bad Day 2007-03-13

Owh I had a bad morning today... during class.. I nearly fainted as I ran out of the class and walk to the toilet which was just in front of me but my vision went so blurred and my body is as chill as a dead body, I thought I was going to pass off but I hang on with myself ... The pain is horrible ... I was walking like a drunken guy but in fact I was getting very weak with this sudden strange sickness and the moment I got out from the toilet, I couldn't stand anymore and slam right on the table to rest. No one came to help even though I was very much in trouble, now I know how caring people are when I am in trouble and nearly suffer unconciousness. :(

P:S I didn't had anything during the morning ... but never felt this before ... because I never had breakfast for morning classes (not enough time)

Wee ... I just gotten high marks for my moral test today .., there is another test this wednesday (tomorrow T_T) and a headache untouched assignment due this week ... argh I got so busy until there is no time to do assignments ... after class around 4 pm, I wondered why the federal highway was so jammed up until I pass by the accident area where I saw 8 cars banged each other's bumper from behind ... pretty hilarious if you asked me, they stopped by the road, I think I saw an ambulance and 2 tow trucks, gosh... a massive jam caused up by it ... if only people will drive safer and luckily I got better after this sickness caused by this morning ... thank god I didn't faint in my car ... I wonder what will happen ... :(

Teammate

Ever been with someone else that you do not know what their capabilities are in a college for an assignment ?

I really find it hard to team up with new people especially when I do not know them. I always see others as an obstacle that drags me down when we are grouped to do something together. I would always have them in my mind as a lazy person that depends on me so much that I am sort of doing 4 peoples job.

In fact, I did do a 4 person job because of their incompetency. Now ? I got to team up with 4 foreigners from China and THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT TO DO EVEN THOUGH I EXPLAINED SO DEEPLY AND CONCISE ARGH IT MAKES ME WANT TO MURDER THEM.
The point of this post is that, are teammates in college where lecturers forces you into a group reliable ? moreover are they even friends or just taking opportunity of your intelligences and feed off your hardwork but in fact all those works are yours ?

Now I really really dislike teaming up with people unless I really know them. It really pisses me off, I HATE COLLEGE

Being Elder Means You Can Bully Younger ?

What's happening with some family ? their elders such as the eldest brother or sister that bully their younger sibling just because they are older and bigger than them ? What happened to the good old times where brothers and sisters cared for each other than having the brother to rape the sister or brother playing boxing match with their own brother.
Some parents are also at fault for not educating their children by getting busy everyday and not spending time with their children. This has made most of the children to stick up with cyber cafes and learn bad attributes such as speaking profanity and smoking. Some parents even torture their children, some fathers rape their daughter, mother beating up her son everyday with a cane even for the slightest mistake. Some parents even disbelieve their children and still think they are 10 yr old when the fact that they are already 18 but cage them at home with watchful eyes. I know parents are caring but to a certain extent where their child has lost personal freedom ?
I always thought family is there to support us. But some family has made their children to fear the family itself and rely more on the friends that they know. However, there are still loving parents out there that live harmoniously. If I had a wish to grant, I would wish to be born in a happy family that would always be happy even though we are rich or poor but never forget our stand as a family...

Nightmarish Day For Me :( 08/02/2007

The day started when I woke up ready to get to college while on my way out, I saw this cute cool cat that has blue eyes that was being friendly early in the morning towards me in my doorstep while I am about to exit my house... Most stray cats would run away but this 1 is so friendly !

After that, as usual, I went for class and came back to my vehicle to see a white slip on my wiper which was an issued summon =.= I got summoned for RM80 haiz T_T. It's my fault after all >.<, I must be more careful next time, ahh the day went miserable for me ... I got tons of assignment to finish within this month and next month. I can't even enjoy a peaceful CNY !! ahhh ... I wished my day would have been a little better ...