Things have been cyclonic this week as my mind goes round and round and round over matters.
Firstly, the thoughts of my current course, I feel as if I can't continue it anymore as it was too tough for me, it brings me back to my alternative to pharmacy course. Then again after looking back at those science paper gives me the headache. I felt helpless that I am no good in other things. I looked so desperate in need to search a way in life. I am afraid I might make the wrong decision that will carry on for the rest of my life in regret.
Secondly, the thought of part time job, I've never took up a part time job before because I probably don't know if I am able to do a job well. I don't know what job will suit me well, and I don't know when I can actually start taking up a part time job when I have studies to catch. It makes me curious how the work life would be.
Thirdly, I heard this over the radio (Hitz FM) about releasing our rant, anger, dissatisfaction and complain in life to another person that is willing to listen to our life. The radio said that we should not keep everything in ourselves. I think I have failed the whole thing in this part, I don't think I own a human heart anymore too. The reason I say this is because I do not complain, I rant no more, people are annoyed when I complain. People will just love to keep my complain and hurl it back at me in backfire. I just hate it when I want to make friends but I have to risk of being back stabbed at the same time if I fail to "pleasure" them in the friendship.
I am in such a misery that makes me think that trusting anyone will be my fatal flaw. I haven't had a good social life for a long time. I haven't meet anyone that is willing to sit down and talk to me. I haven't met someone that could actually knows what my mind wants. No, this is not about even finding a girlfriend, this is about just friends. It tires me that people around my age will boast about being in a good relationship with friends and family. Actually, it angers me somehow. I think I am tired to get into anymore relationship, it's better to be a loner.
Fourthly, I don't know why but I think I am losing respect in life. Whenever I tell something right, people won't just listen for once that I felt as if I want to kill them for not being rational in life. No elaboration further, I think this is unnecessary.
Firstly, the thoughts of my current course, I feel as if I can't continue it anymore as it was too tough for me, it brings me back to my alternative to pharmacy course. Then again after looking back at those science paper gives me the headache. I felt helpless that I am no good in other things. I looked so desperate in need to search a way in life. I am afraid I might make the wrong decision that will carry on for the rest of my life in regret.
Secondly, the thought of part time job, I've never took up a part time job before because I probably don't know if I am able to do a job well. I don't know what job will suit me well, and I don't know when I can actually start taking up a part time job when I have studies to catch. It makes me curious how the work life would be.
Thirdly, I heard this over the radio (Hitz FM) about releasing our rant, anger, dissatisfaction and complain in life to another person that is willing to listen to our life. The radio said that we should not keep everything in ourselves. I think I have failed the whole thing in this part, I don't think I own a human heart anymore too. The reason I say this is because I do not complain, I rant no more, people are annoyed when I complain. People will just love to keep my complain and hurl it back at me in backfire. I just hate it when I want to make friends but I have to risk of being back stabbed at the same time if I fail to "pleasure" them in the friendship.
I am in such a misery that makes me think that trusting anyone will be my fatal flaw. I haven't had a good social life for a long time. I haven't meet anyone that is willing to sit down and talk to me. I haven't met someone that could actually knows what my mind wants. No, this is not about even finding a girlfriend, this is about just friends. It tires me that people around my age will boast about being in a good relationship with friends and family. Actually, it angers me somehow. I think I am tired to get into anymore relationship, it's better to be a loner.
Fourthly, I don't know why but I think I am losing respect in life. Whenever I tell something right, people won't just listen for once that I felt as if I want to kill them for not being rational in life. No elaboration further, I think this is unnecessary.
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